pretty long absence.
holidays coming to an end.
oh how i dread it.

apac was great.
new friends.
new experience.
iff seminar wasnt bad either.
we got to sleep over at the sports school.
which was really a cool thing.
hee. never imagined myself setting foot in it.

wellie..let the pics do the talking..


me, najib, ross

me and mister

our lil celebration..haha

hardworkin people...

us and the aussie refferees, nick & paul.

me & scott o'brien..isnt he hot? muahaha

us and the aussies

cant get enuff of ourselves

us & the Indians

wyldkatz, i may not be with you
but my spirit will always be there with u.
make me proud, girls.
i was so nervous for 'my' girls just now.
(yes ulfy, aisah they are still mine!)
i felt i was actually going to play for them.
how i wish!

i wish you knew.
how my heart long for the old times.
i was blind.
i was selfish.
i was spoiled by ur love.
so near yet so far.
thats how i feel.
we seem to be like in 2 different boats.
sailing away from each other.
don't let me drift away.
coz i truly love you.

today, it was settled.

i had to meet my VP.

apparently this James boy,

the one i was talking about in my previous entry.

he took malay in pri 1. he was in another sch then.

he was absent for 6 months frm sch after the 1st sem.

and joined our sch later when he was in p2.

he was having problems with the previous sch.

he has been failing his malay since p1.

and now mum is blaming me.

how fair is that?

thing is the boy has already given up.

he told his form teacher that he doesnt like malay.

so how much can i help?

i dont mind going the extra mile.

but cant the mum be a bit more appreciative of what we had done for him.

we sacrificed our time to have personal remedial with him.

what more does she want?

i'm trying my best to take everything positively.

its definitely a learning experience for me.

a quote to live by,

"i touch the future. i teach"

-Christa McAuliffe

and so i've come to a conclusion,

when there is love, there is pain.

i wonder how my friends are doing..

those who are working..

those who are schooling..

and not forgettin one who is abroad.

i so miss school!

i so miss the company!

and i so miss the laughter that we shared...

so when are we going for raya outing?

any plans meanies....fellow joyriders?

i'm looking forward to the weekends.

and yessa i survived the week.

yey! what day is tomorrow?

FRIDAY! and friday means a day more to Saturday.

weeee~!

after calculating the marks,

i have 3 failures in my p4.

i have no idea what's happenin to them.

coz the p4 paper is so so easy to score!

have yet to get back my p3 papers from my colleagues.

talking about p3, i have this chi boy in my class.

yes. he's taking malay.

and i gave him remedial evry tues and thurs.

ADHD boy. always in his own world in class.

and mum doesnt believe us.

instead she blames the teachers.

he has written nothing for his SA2 compo!

when i already asked him to at least write the helping words down.

he wrote nothing..nothing!

and best thing...the mum wrote a letter to MOE,

asking them what kind of teachers does Sembawang has.

she just refuse to believe that her son has no interest in studies.

and now i have to meet my VP to talk about him.

such a pain in the ass lah this people. so geram!

i was informed which level i'll be teaching next yr.

will be sticking to the present time-table.

that means taking the p5 and p6 em3.

but good news is that i'm taking the good p3 and p4.

i'm just hoping and praying that Rafi boy will b in another class.

sorry for the long absence.
busy and tired with the working life.
and now with the raya visiting.
hardly have any personal time for myself.

children taking their final year exams.
kinda scared for them.
but i'm actually proud that many of my students..
well not all..actually memorised what i asked them to
for their karangan..
i feel oh-so-proud of them..
here's what i asked them to memorise by hard.
its for the opening of the compo.
"Cuaca pada hari itu sungguh cerah.
Bunyi burung yang berkicau-kicauan sangat merdu.
Angin yang meniup sepoi-sepoi bahasa menyamankan lagi
suasana pada hari itu. Perasaan saya sungguh gembira."
bagus tak? bagus tak?
heh.

i promised to upload pics of my new bed. so here goes..

see that 'little princess' pillow. my fav for now.
a birthday gift from my fellow joyriders.


my new curtains. nice kann....

cant help it but to feel jealous.

no matter whether u're my fren or not,

i'll still feel jealous.

so get away!

surfing net in school.
something which i rarely do.
its boring when you have nothing much to do.
but i'll cherish every minute of it.
i like it when the staff room is almost empty.
you can do whatever you want and have nothing to worry about.

shopped at ikea last nyte.
bought myself a day bed.
just wanted to have my bedroom changed.
will post a pic up when it is delivered to me.

well now that i'm working, must i give duit rayer?
sungguh menyedihkan!
i would rather be studying and receiving money..
rather than giving out money.
*sigh*

a week more to go...

friday marks the end of my long week.

and i'm always in high spirit when its coming to an end.

but lately my mood hasnt been good.

pmS? nah..its the kids.

they are driving me nuts.

whenever i have lessons with my p3,

my mood will automatically change.

they are still young..yes..

still look like babies..yes..

but becoz of one boy, lessons with them are hell.

a boy with an attitude, a big bully, and a very corrupted mind.

imagine a 9 yr old saying, 'jubur', 'fuck', 'chibai', 'kiss my ass'.

he's a real monyet lah.

having to deal with him is one thing, my p5 em3 are gettin out of control too.

i cried on friday. becoz i was just too angry.

too too angry!

i was asking this boy to sit down, and he shouted back at me,

"saya punyer pasal ah cikgu!"

he raised his voice at me! not once. but many times.

that trigger evrything.

i blew up.

i started shouting at them like some mad woman on the loose.

better not mess with me kids.

i'm no longer that sweet teacher you can toy around with.

looking forward to the new week.

becoz its psle marking day. and that means sch holiday.

yessa!

i just feel like posting an entry about myself.

i just looked through the papers which my fellow floorballers wrote.

the one they had to write about yazid, jason n myself.

yes i still keep all those papers.

because at least i know how i'm progressing as a person.

i may look tough on the outside.

but only few knows that i'm actually soft on the inside.

first impression of me is always negative.

others find me arrogant.

hmmm...

i guess i'm strong-headed too.

and i can't admit defeat.

i always wonder if i had carried out my responsibilities as a leader.

i wonder if i've brought up and nurtured my wyldkatz well..

honestly it was hard for me to deal with the criticisms i get from some.

i acted strong because i had to.

eventhough some said i deserved the post, i question myself every now n then.

even now, when its over.

i blame myself for making such decisions.

have i made a mistake?

i wonder...

i'm striving to change into a more better person

be patient.

do not give up when you still have something to give

me n mister visited our dearest yazid in ocs on sunday.

together with his family in that big old trajet.

cheerful as always. gettting thinner n thinner.

later become kudut like me.

speaking of kudut..i weigh 46kg now.

in all i lost 4kg. thats bad. really bad.

no idea why i lost weight that much.

because i've been eating a lot...

ibu have been asking me to pay a visit to the doc.

but being the stubborn me, i just refused to.

so back to ocs.

its a very big camp. very big mind you..

and i just learnt that..

they have to study and sit for exams.

no wonder its called a school.

and there are ladies..cool huh...

let the pics do the talking..

mister, yaz & me in his bunk

the very big dining hall

the nice view from the HQ

the tank yazid drove..hah..kiddin

dearest yazid

me & mister

gift & letters from cambodia

thank you dear ones for always having me in mind.

we'll be back.

soon.

16th september.
we had a joyride cum birthday celebration.
at changi beach.
it was so nicely planned.

and the surprise was a really nice one.

the birthday surprise was after maghrib.

now i noe y ulf dragged me to the toilet even i when i refused to.

so that they can get me away.

when we came back, ulf asked for the telekong.

i just told her its inside the tent.

but yazid insist that i find it for her.

so i went to the tent, and found myself surrounded by all of them.

i was scared to open the tent at first.

when i did, they threw star glitters at me and sang a birthday song.

thank you, lovelies.

i had a blasssssssssssst!

september babies

me with the oh-so-nice cake

joyriders

aj, me & mister

yesterday was aj's birthday.
so we threw her a surprise at her house.
thanks to her bestfriend and gang.

we were instructed to be at her house at 745pm.
apparently we were a bit late.
after all the walking from al-iman mosque.
when we (the girls) finally reached aj's void deck,
we saw yazid and hermie coming towards us.
they said they saw aj at the carpark.
and we went, oh shit.....
so...we ran all the way to her house.
like some elephants on the run.
luckily her house was on the 2nd level.
thank god!

shuld hav videoed the look on aj's sis and dad.
muahaha. we muz have been really loud.
we hid in her parents' room.

we hid in her room.

lying on the floor waiting for the birthday girl in darkness.

well i nearly fell asleep coz you took so long!
as she opened the door to her room,
and lights were switched on, we went...
"SURPRISE!"
aj was screaming and jumping lyk some monkey on the loose.
hee. and she juz threw her bag on the floor.
then...her bf and friends came out with the cake..
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Aisah,
Happy Birthday to you!

it was nice to see you happy.

it was nice to see you enjoying your 21st birthday.

we love you, baby.

mwahs.

so its payday.
yayness.
and i got myself a long skirt from Metro today.
heh.
just cant resist it coz its 70% off.
$79.90 and now selling for $16.90.
its was kinda love at first sight.
saw it. grab it. bought it.
never had i bought something without doing much thinking.
just wanted to treat myself after a long day at work.

feeling kind of scared now.
because the VP saw me threatening a p5 kid.
with that long wooden ruler of mine.
'samurai sword' as described by them. heh.
the thing is i dun noe if she saw me hit him with it.
i mean it wasnt really a hard hit. just a tap on his back.
die lar.die lar.
she always caught me at the wrong time.
always walking past the wrong class.
the em3s.
*sigh*

on the other hand, i'm happy coz
my birthday's coming soon!
yay!
got my prezzy ready oready? hehe.
3 days to go. weeeee~!
what will you surprise me with this time round?

my body's aching all over.

blame me for not attendin training for so long.

skills getting rusty. my shots weren't accurate.

*sigh*

kinda disappointing.

but i'm proud of myself for running 4 rounds around the blue track.

and i was fasting that thursday.

good ehh? heh.

so we went out yesterday.

after so long.

looking forward to next outing.

as always. can never get enough of you.

wishing that everyday would be a bright day.

i cried

because i miss you.

i cried

because i need you.

i cried

because i love you.

i will not let go till you tell me to.

so near yet so far.

i'm broken when i'm lonesome

and i don't feel right when you're gone away.

so its september.

and like aj, i'm happy.

why?

because my birthday is on 15th September.

Friday, 15th September.

heh.

remember that people...

on the other hand, feeling quite low though.

i miss you, mister.

like really really miss you.

*sigh*

so yesterday, we had a family gathering.

yes aj is part of us.

we went to wac this malay bangsawan at victoria theatre.

not so hard to understand la.

hah.i made abah sit next to me just in case me n aisah get lost.

after which we went for our supper. no actually dinner la.

poor aj..had to wait so long for her food. dah lah puasa kan.

then headed to ECP. that was about 2 in the morning.

plan was to hang around for a while then back home.

but ended up staying there till about 11am.

aj, jangan serik eh. heh. my family very the last minute one.

we dont make plans. on the go kind of people la gitu..

here i stand alone

with this weight upon my heart

and it will not go away

in my head I keep on looking back

right back to the start

wondering what it was that made you change

well I tried

but I had to draw the line

mister, i love you.

had to go Sembawang park yesterday.

with p6 em3 students.

but it was raining so heavily. so it was cancelled.

*yayness*

but..i had to rot with them in the AVA room

and so i missed the concert.

only managed to see the last item.

=(

when school ended, we rushed for the toilet.

to get changed for the teachers' day hi-tea.

i had to rush to do my prayers.

i had to rush back to the staff room

to take my hp and purse.

so i was practically running the whole school.

then of all days, a parent wanted to meet me.

just to ask whether his son have got back his ca2 paper.

*shakes head*

when i finally got up the bus, there was no seat left!

so me and a few other teachers had to wait for another bus.

that made us late for the hi-tea.

an hour late.

*sigh*

bad day.bad day.

but food was great. company was great.

the view from the 69th floor from Swissotel was breathtaking.

at least a part of my day was nice.

after the hi-tea, headed to ibu's shop.

to kill time.

coz i had a date with jelly at night.

accompany her shopped at Mango.

then had drinks at Mc Cafe.

after that headed for our mocie at Lido.

we watched break-up.

aj, i totally agree with u.

i almost doze off. heh. shuld hav listened to u lah.

its so so boring lah can!

and..

home sweet home.

maafkan aku bila meragukan ketulusan hatimu.

maafkan aku bila meragukan kejujuran cintamu.

maafkan aku kerana ku sungguh terluka.

kembalilah jika kau sudah bersedia.

i hate mondays.because its just the start to a whole new week.

well at least i have thursday and friday to look forward to.

i love teaching.but the kids that i'm teaching..

they drained me out of my energy.

and i so dread going to the p6 EM3 class.

i will always drag myself slowly up to their classroom.

so that i can at least waste some time.

bad teacher. bad teacher. i noe. but wdh.

i'll be out of school on thursday.going to sembawang park.

with the p6 EM3 class.*shakes head*

haiz. can i get an MC on that day?

i'm feeling low because i'll be missin the concert.

and how can i get prezzies when i'm out of sch?

muahaha.

ulfy, date me out ok.

i need company.

i noe u need me too.

heh.

One look

One smile

One touch

One embrace

One kiss

One love

Two people

Two minds

Two souls

Two destinies

One road

One journey

One ending

Together.

mwahs.

dahulu

ku cukup pasti

tentang dirimu

kini

ku bingung

apa mahumu

tapi yang ku pasti

tak mungkin akukan berundur

kerna

kaulah satu satunya

yang teristimewa

Kerana terlalu mengasihi

Akhirnya terluka aku sendiri

just let me have your hands in mine.

and let me hold on to it tightly.

missing you badly.

drifting away.

Rossa - Tegar

Tergoda aku untuk berfikir

Dia yang tercinta

Mengapa telah lama tak nampak

Dirimu di sini

Jangan kan ingin ku tersenyum

Tak ada daya

Ku ingin selalu bersamamu

Kini ku resah

Diriku lemah tanpamu

Gapai semua jemariku

Rangkul aku dalam bahagiamu

Ku ingin bersama berdua

Selamanya

Jika ku buka mata ini

Ku ingin selalu ada dirimu

Dalam kelemahan hati ini

Bersamamu

Aku tegar